The Discovery

The need to forgive the child in me, cast

trouble and blame, the reason I was last

my struggle with Kak-handed ways

non-ability to learn and play; in a band

feckless or thick, people would say

unable to join in a team to play

thought; no one wanted me in, every day 

low in esteem, useless though keen

never realising what could have been

having inner intellect 

openly stupid; what others saw

under a cloud of dark misty swirls of war

no one likes a boy; quiet and meak 

softly gentle, who appears very weak

yet, an internal strength, that could not speak

wishing to be dead for so many years

a thousand hurts with too many tears

yet, many reasons to happily cheer

children for one, grandchildren too

a wish to unravel a mind to chew

concoction of worries in a blended stew

it’s a little too late, discovery is found

a confident twit, whose mind is not sound

have to keep going with feet on the ground

cannot promise much but to be around

until a cure comes late, yet somehow found 

Peace; for a moment!

I saw the flowers, the wonderous fields

I saw the rabbits enjoying their meals

there sat an owl in a high up branch 

so serene while I ate my lunch

Twas’ ten minutes of an unexpected day 

peace and quiet in a the countryside way

I lay on the grass, no reason or rhyme why

a touch of amazement as I followed the sky

I hadn’t  known peace like that ten minutes before

listening to twittering of the sparrows guffaw 

a warm sun shone, down on my soul

I wished the ground would open and swallow me whole

To be eternal in this scene of tranquillity 

somehow advanced myself in one’s ability

walk away now, then all has gone

yet, the memory of that moment lingers on.

Echoes

Moving forward intricately into the future 

Tho’ a cut in history cannot be repaired; with a suture

venture there, where the slice lay deep

a bleeding wound is a secret at keep

Once bitten, twice shy, the third time is death not died

gasping for air, sorrowfully Weak

a pathetic man that could not speak

Internally screaming for help; spiritedly bleak

Echoes of the past repeat, repeat, repeat.

Could I fly away

I awoken with a free day to see

relaxed, then ate breakfast; was required by me

buttered grilled Kippers, crusty bread on the side

sat to think of pretty words that almost rhymed 

I could not feel the peculiar changing of the tone

the frightened thought of me there, sitting all alone

in that moment life began to change, forever

I thought we would spend our life being together

I drove to the beachy head, climbed on the rocks

the moment arrived for me to, fly like a kite

arms spread out wide, upward push into the night 

it was then that I felt the fright, that I just, might

crash landing face down as my body hit the ground 

a bloody nose and an anxious frown

the realisation that after a ten foot dive -

- I would still be around.

What a commotion

Blink, irreversible ripple wave, sleep irrevocably saved

fall on a hardened floor, destroying foundations at war

caution be the sign, if requiring everything to be fine

try your hardest not to shout at the children about

close the book for pain not to get a look

understanding the climb to be on the other side

corruption in crime if you offer a bribe

miss mention a mention a social media lie

try not to break a heart if not wanting to cry

guilt is such a menace even when up high 

Roman Tragedy

Remembering the casualty of a precarious feud 

breaking of hearts, destruction, confused

the loss of a life that, began an end

a letter written regretfully sent

twas’ the demons glee to a payment met

Eternal photograph, hearts aflutter

romance begun with not, a stutter

instantaneous love, when eyes were seen

souls entwining, all consuming theme

instantaneous fortune of lust, yet green

Unjustly plan cast a spell to ratify thy doom

all was final, disaster loomed 

parental strength, oh Catholicism trust

why not share one, mothers love

defining god, release thy truss

I prayed endlessly (with Love)

Little Miss

“She is silly”, that’s what people think

too embarrassed to wear something pink

hiding her face an irreplaceable disgrace

not wanting to be seen on the iPhone screen

blaming her own mind for whatever she has been

ridiculously crazy or so it may seem

The truth is unbearable, to hear

her heart is anxious, so she lives in fear

scared to be noticed, scared to travel

so afraid her life would unravel 

awkwardly social, difficultly knows all

waiting behind the line, waiting to fall

“pretentiously playing” 

that’s what people are saying

while she spends her life in panic 

forever on knees praying

confusing her inability with confused sexuality 

never knowing the reality of her actuality 

One day she will see her need can be

one day when she finds actual reality 

settling for what is, expectations a miss

having a warm heart, loving is bliss

trusting in friends without the require to kiss

settling down easy, losing anxiousness 

Be free of worry maybe, go to sleep little lady