Recall of fear.

You stand tall on a chair, blue shirt, nappy on, only three, shining coconut hair, wirey curls, eyes that stare at a ghostly figure, yet no one is there, looking out from deep golden eyes, with your short young life, a horrific recall of fear enters here

you are away for a minute, some times of the day, a surreal distant moment, that only you can create, screaming for a while, until settled with pepper pig and a drink, taking a step back to have a think, what horrors might you have seen from that bottle of pink, rolled up paper smoke, a horrific recall of fear is here

Silent for what seemed like ages , I glanced as you froze, a statue at irregular moments, that soft gentle face, shaken, hit the wall, bruises after a pinch of anger, left dirty, alone, hungry, a burn on the skin from a drop of ash, one of these days you will forget all, with no horrific recall of fear that enters here. 

WoodBerry Down generation

Why?, oh please answer, why? 

You threatened, abuse in my direction 

Was I so different to you? 

Yes being a little coy, I was a Teddy Boy

There was never rascist tone, I was almost alone,

I never spouted hate, 

one look at the way I dressed made you irate

Winston Reeves, I loved the Rock ‘n’ Roll suits

The Music to boot, I loved Bob Marley too

Though you’d never have guessed

You just reacted to the fashion that I dressed

You weren’t guilty of the way you felt

There could be tough times in 1974 

Difficult for the Windrush core

Never knowing what kind of day you would have

The way you were treated could be hurtful for sure

I wonder what ever happened to you

Were you successful ? 

Like You deserved to be?, 

talented, clever, too skilled for a factory

Probably became a lawyer 

Fighting the cause in history

Or a drug dealer like everyone expected you to be 

Except Me.

Wavering

One never can tell, when they fall into the pit of hell, a mere matter of stress with a combination of duress, a loss of feeling alive, I pray it’s not contrive, not a position of restful strive, a bee without a hive.

Wonderful colour of Tulips, Golden bells galore, Bluebells of plenty, Amethyst are small. Pretty rabbits are out of bed, crocoideae Iris, whisper to Hyacinth, she may not tell, incredible to smell.

 Now where was I in story part or told, lost in thoughts, a transitional movement of the strangest kind, cannot travel beyond what I can see leading forward into the darkest caverns, being lead by the blind, don’t worry my dear, I’m very close behind. 

Roses of red, inconceivable to believe that they have grown up on gruel, Oliver the boy, matchstick girl, would make a great pair, Shoreditch church rings the bell,  the children desired love and food, wonderful stories in the Dickensian world, I slept soundly in a comfy little shell, pray before sleep

For fear of hell!. 

I never did find it

Walking along the pavement after crossing the road, there was a mysterious thing happening, a step for the bold, reaching the corner of a nunnery ahead, I heard the sound of a screeching thud, one step further, I could be 

Woken up on the corner from a hard slap to my face, unsure of the happening or the strange place. “Are you okay son?” a peculiar man asked,  not a Face that I had known from the past “yes, I think so I replied”, then nervously laughed. “What happened?”

Well the man exclaimed “a bus hit a car, the driver lost control, mounted the pavement then landed on you, the whole story sounded so bazaar, on the pavement run over by a car, seemed so cruel,  that it must be true, an ambulance came took me to hospital for a thorough check, when my mum arrived I was sobbing through, “what’s wrong”, she asked softly, “Why so blue?” I’m upset mum because I’ve lost my shoe.

The noise

I cannot share the way I feel, I cannot unleash the burden so still, rotting my methodical mind, rumbling thunderstorms of a strange kind, holding on to sanity, never still the choir, forever at war with the forces of fire, the cockerel faces east on top of the spire, travel through space in a hailstone mired. 

An electrical impulse, I feel no peace, no place of rest, no instantaneous release, trouble I bring and trouble I leave, a high pitched tone in my brain, a constant humming, I need silence for peace, there is none, for searching all, not any I find, a single noise is torment, rasping perpetual falling foul, soul crashing, never ending,  punishing till death is now

When your at rock bottom there is only one way you can go!!

Every house built, starts from a single brick

successful people achieve one success at a time

Accept sometimes you  fail,  pick yourself up and rise  from the ashes as if you are a phoenix!.

What’s a day worth ?

Wash away your worries, seal your regrets 

The capable person is one who forgets

put your head  in the fridge to chill 

Take one more of those little yellow pills

Just remember to eat your bread

you won’t be eating anything when your dead

So do what you like, whatever makes you happy

Why panic about triviality, then feel crappy

Go to bed at nine, read a book or watch TV

Whatever you do decide to do

keep calm and breathe easy

Undazzle translucent, melt the fusion

Where possible, be a living light, airless and breezy 

Free of restraints, without the confusion