Out of the darkness

The slippery slope of hell, I could not tell. Gradually slipping down shrouded for my miserable existence, I questioned everything, everything replied with anger, viciousness, gnarled teeth from angry black dogs grabbing at my mind tearing at my sanity until I became withdrawn from all of mankind, hurt by the way they mistreat each other, anything to cause pain in a cowardly malicious way so as to protect themselves from their own stupidity and fiery spitefullness, beckoning to challenge those weaker than themselves for sickening joy.
 I whom continually am surrounded by people, yet alone pondering troublesome thoughts for whatever cause over many years, entering a blacker tunnel as I begin each day, year, realm of sadness, never finding the worthiness of life on this Earth, burdened by more than debt could afford, going on until the end when suicide is the only answer left before me, then you were born from one of the dreadful mistakes I have become. Overwhelmingly mesmerised by your sight, light shone from your eyes, your wonderfulness pulled me from the brink of death and desperation, out of the darkness into the light it was there at that last gasp that I found life and began to live.

The Milestone

A stone marks the location where the highwayman waited, where the fisherman baited, where the lost man found his way from lost and exasperated Grass grew on its quiet country lane, a horse drawing a cart slowly up a hill start, 1 mile from where a lover feels the need to depart, from a beautiful lady that broke his heart A marathon was won, joy on all the people's faces then there were none left for the races, a motorway can be seen in the far off distance, yet it lies there still, quiet at the bottom of that hill, there's Buttercups and daffodils, the spring is here, goodbye at last to winters chill, dust spread far and wide from the old windmill Sat navs and gadgets packed lunches with faggots, 70 miles per hour, bread from the flour, it lies there still and for a thousand years will, a secret to tell forever more keep, tears from my eyes where I once did weep, you passed from us mother, my memories still hold, the wonderful things and the stories you told, a lock of your hair is under the throne of the little white rock called a 'Milestone'

Normal/Insanity

Are we a person who is inward looking out, other people around moving at a pace while we consider it's just another race, perceiving that insane normality could be on the sharp point of a blade, maybe the slanted edged absorbing disciplines to be normal, the other sliding down into the depth of hellfire losing the will to be strong, evidence of any emotional adjustment regressed to a former self of loathing and fragility, anger & paranoia pursues a weakness buried deep within humbling broken spirits, one predicament left to decide, hopefully for not too long is 'which side are we presently on?, are we going to slip to reveal a deep wound for others to pick at opening to a sizeable crater, the poor will of an exposed crumbling nothing for all to see or the strength of an ox with plasticised skin?.

When the darkness fell

The months were warm, the sun shone bright, a picturesque few weeks that were quite serene, the greatest times in life were shortened by that scene, as the dark cloud ascended from who knows where, into a life of confusion wrought with despair, destruction and chaos had found a new friend  that's when i knew, it became the new end.

 Unexpected, imaginary life times of trial for man had become the weakness in himself, that killed with a smile

Limbs torn from flesh, bodies lay still, blood on the kitchen floor, thick and congealed, flies lay the eggs for their own chosen meal, tortured in mass dying and ill, the future of man silent and still.

The corruption of the makers were the only takers, allowing that wretched horror to be brought,the national health weakened by greed, the filthy rich had grown their own seed, poorest of all died long ago, left in the mess they were allowed to sow. Poor health, hunger and disease had killed, all in its path all weakened until still.

The months were warm, sunny and serene when the darkness fell it was quite a scene, the dark cloud grew larger in the sky, no one had time to stop and ask why,

In a moment we were there, then no more, when the darkness fell at our front door....

It fell

It fell a long way into the depth of an upturned spire, a cross of Christ the lord crucified upside on.

Falling and falling, flowing downwards around the shape of barley twist, begging to catch a barb on the way, yet missed. forgotten memories, names long gone even the one with the consideration of a song. The chemicals not working, barbiturates all the same, forgotten the tune, word as a name, tumbling on into darkness lay asleep or dead?, it's all going on inside of the head, only one can tell for the thoughts still trouble, treasured history among the rubble, lights long fading in to dark of night 

love to be saddened the lessened to share

But what's the bother now, not a soul alive cares.

The last time

He recalled a reflection of his own history, it was brief although he had lived more than one life, in his time. He remembered his children, they needed his love so much when they were young, now all grown up living their own lives in the way they wish to live them, they had wonderful children of their own, his grandchildren, his future generation, carving a way forward, more precious to him than they  could feel.

The love of his life is beside him, clenching his hand with her slender pretty fingers, knuckles holding the gold rings stopping them from falling off, she is weeping yet accepting that fate must have its glory, he is so tired now, the pain in him is ill conceived, striking sharply. The nurse speaks quietly to his passion, he cannot hear what is being said however a thin tube is brought over to the bedside and a bag with Clear Liquid inside is placed on a hook, a syringe driver is put into his arm with the tube attached, the liquid flows through the small tube. He cannot concentrate on anything with the dull, yet piercing ache through every part of his being. As his body consumes the liquid, he can feel an immense throbbing pain bound with a paradoxical feeling of no pain at all as if he was not in his own body.

 He takes a look around the room, there are many faces, his Mum, Dad, Children, Grandchildren, Sisters, Brothers, Uncles and aunts and others that he did not recognise, "Oh My, How.....?" then felt as if something or someone stopped him from speaking further, he turned to glance at his love, "you are so beautiful" he told her, he thought that from the first time that he had seen her bright smile across a darkened room although he always pretended that he had not noticed her at all, he reached to touch her short blond hair and wipe away the tear from her soft blue eyes, "it is what it is" he said quietly, "yes" she replied with that same bright but now feint smile that she had shown him many years before, he grasped her hand with as much strength as he could muster then felt no strength at all as his hand slipped away from hers, he had become very weak, with a longing for sleep at the same moment the pain binding his body appeared to lift out of him and dissipate into the light above the bed, leaving him with immense peace, he moved his neck for a glance at her beautiful face then shut his eyes.

History of a decent man

Catch a thief by the toe, watch him die for tales of woe, burdened by the birthright genes, poor as muck the stealing fiend, bread for dinner, potato for stew, hardly enough for me and you, he feeds his family that's the score, then walks to work at half past 4, twelve hours striving for not much pay, goes back home to sleep in hay, fortunate enough to pass some bread? or wildly wicked and hung till dead!. Judged as dirt by those in power who live so well in ivory towers.

I’m not putting up with that!

"I'll slap him hard for thieving off me"

beat him with a stick for telling lies

One,two, three, now he will see"

"he needs conditioning, the unruly pesk"

"for bunking off school 

not sitting at his desk"

"that boy is useless!

he belongs in the trash"

"now he has drugs and plenty of cash"

"I'll show the thug the back of my glove

there is nothing wrong

with a bit of tough love".

The boy hardly winced or felt any pain

he did not care if he was hit again

desensitised by the surroundings

from a violent life case

thumped by his parents,

and punched in the face

burnt by cigarettes for wetting the bed

alone in his room and hungry for bread

left for so long, close to death

then beaten and bruised for things 

he had said, like "mummy I'm hungry"

and "FUCK OFF DAD" 

always alone and quite often sad

angry, confused, self harming and mad

now going back 

to the first verse in my rhyme

he was put in care

when he was all but nine 

society's problem, ignorant bliss

the boy had not known a hug or a kiss

"give him a smack", advice by some

"shut him in his room 

he will come to no harm"

"grab him, shake him, always be calm"

"make sure not to leave

a bruise on his arm"

carers, sharers fostering dues

no wonder the children are so confused

care is patience, love is Devine

happiness is the child's needs over mine

Tinsel

The unclean are omitted, 

a different view cast aside, 

there is no place in England 

if you are from the other side

judgemental press, hide behind a lie

fabulorised stories, tut tuts and sighs

they say "how dare you be disabled, unemployed or high when a decent working man cannot afford to fly".

Look to your store with a shiny clean floor welcoming people in, filthy at the core

structured music, displays colour bright,

see beneath the counter,

something is not right.

At the back, in the yard,

the staff are fit to drop,

for twelve hours standing 

in this low paid shop

dog ends still smouldering,

behind the building litter,

while the person in the uniform 

cannot afford a babysitter.

Caught by the clock for a long time 

Invisible chains that once were not mine

start at eight, finish at nine, 

whatever happened to all that time

the futures good, the futures bright 

make sure to wear clothes that fit just right. undercurrent, pinned by stress

why don't you wear

that long white dress?

Go to the funeral of my best friend, Strange,

coz I thought he was on the mend,

everyone said 'he is sick in the head'

now they are all being kind, 

now he is dead. 

hypocritical bastards it's time to leave

walk out alone, a chance to grieve

everything is nothing, nothing is space

I don't really belong in this awful place

Is everything I know in life not credible?

Is it all animal, mineral or vegetable?

shallow lies the fallen kind

Incredibly stupid, completely blind

frightened of being left behind

From the ground up

I plastered a hole, more appeared 

no matter how smooth or sheer another hole appears, cracks all around plaster on the ground

The neighbourhood shook, walls fell down yet houses stayed up.

Empty shells with souls corrupt.

smiles upon faces outward grins tasteless in their hearts 

evil in their thoughts, 

contemplated graces

poor souls are in slavery yet the chains are bound and kept, twisting in all directions, pay the largest threat

A stench is in the air, protruding from the ground, cleaners sweep the streets 

scrub the pavements down

wash all the curtains, paint all the cracks, triple glass in plastic Windows the stench is still around 

Have a shave

It takes all sorts to make this world

So pleased That I'm not one of them.

Crowns to gowns, down low to downs

Moorish and boorish unforgettably poorish but who gives a fuck when he's covered in muck, the class of man the same when he's run out of luck, or is it?

give up freedom, pay your tax,

eat rich food, cholesterol is fat

like mmmmmcds, kfc's

Cream jam scones and cups of teas

Over many years

I am alone, tonight I died

no one cared

Mind in the agony of solitude

paranoia schizophrenia 

No, agony of a distant hurt

Not so, in the past, maybe not

I could see clearly once

Now I see nothing!, death and nothing

my doom is beyond any resolution 

a dark fog, a lull mist 

So frightened,I cannot see beyond

Hear a distant song, reminder of when

Reminder of then

I died tonight, no one came

No one cared, not one

Mirrored Germ

If a person speaks continually evil of another without cause, they are airing the bitterness of their own desire.

such desire is like a disease

Treat this disease as you would any other, 

wear a mask then put it in solitary confinement until such a time it cannot be caught by anyone else

and eventually dies.

Oyster

I opened my heart for all to be seen

an overwrought shadow of a former once me

beaten, bruised with a spirit so low

hanging as the leaves of a weeping willow

What wrong,I had shown, was cut ever more

For showing the hurt  

kept in most others, special draw.

"your pathetic", "so bloody weak"

cruel to the worst 

Nor can I bury the love that I  seek

worthless fool for caring too much

a love in a tangle of passion and lust

death of the purest sweetened divine

beauty so special once, is not  mine

oh wicked, cruel fate of worldly unjust

release  my trapped soul, cast my body as dust

forgive me for being pitiful, if you can

 a pathetic, broken excuse of a man

 

 

 

Your myself

Discover ones inner beauty but first

Look at and Accept ones ugliness, 

by accepting our frailties first only then can we perceive an insight to our own self but also we can accept the ugliness on the outside of others to see their inner beauty.

shallow people have no depth, look then look away, however concrete crumbles after a very long time, be patient. 

Some people are blinded by baggage, it has altered their view they will not change no matter what you do, although be kind to them before they do the same to you.

and at the end of this lecture you may think 'what the hell?' And I say

"EXACTLY"

'Believe in Jesus,follow his example'

Feudal compromise.

Xenophobia frequently visits 

The land that I live in

"They take our jobs"

Is ignorance I hear

so much hatred propaganda with fear

Immigration a necessary need

a world at war with a wanton feed

should they die to feed our greed?

I sometimes cry and feel their heed

Children are innocent

Children deserve to be loved

Even Syrian ones 

Humans left to die 

there a rotting corpse

wealthy fat leaders agree

to another lie.

Parents have given up 

on dreams and hopes

I'm sure he would do something 

If he could 'The Pope'

there is too many we cannot cope.

Together country leaders could reach inside to alter the course 

of the rocky slope.

No together they Bomb 

together they kill

Innocent suffer

It's not a joke

The Gathering

After the gathering, where life used to be abundant, once a population explosion, food became scarce, rich became poor, now humans were a redundant species. they lay dead, carcasses sprawled everywhere, rotting flesh, a fowl stench in the air, not one person even cared.

The gatherers, lords of wealth, considerable geniuses, a class of scientists, masters of stealth

they designed machines, dedicated eradicators of mankind, 

computers in human skulls;

resonating mind

skelebots, laser guns in hand, 

a back up button claims 'stop', 

when the time is right, 'Stop'

machines drop without a fight.

Bots, agile, articulate, skilled  to self repair, humanity is a mistake, they will fix the error, with an instant terror

starting a new world order

creating machines by the thousands modern styled slaves, the geniuses thought with arrogance on their faces

soon the world will be rid of the human race, protecting only man capable of keeping the pace.

rest, there is none, men sleep no more, 24 hours of machines that are at war

they are strong, need no rest

not evil, yet calculated to the core

ridding the world of the human bore

binary logarithms, calculating the final score. Killing for killing from door to door.

Below the Surface

If I scratch the surface,

would I find an itch?

or would I find a chasm

corroded by a bitch

either them be true 

my conscience it doth say

just stick a plaster on it

we'll look another day

It ends when it comes

A weakened soul replicates an owl 

concerned this delicate branch will fail

lay still, perturbed to retrace

today's shift a far off place

eventually will arrive in its own time 

if one awakens to save face

A constant sorrow known too well

frequently isolated constant spell

not to mention that fateful word

down in the dungeon unheard

way down where the brave men go

sleep will come, when?, they hear you so

don't be ridiculous, no man will know

Memories trace back, looking forward

A piece in the middle, a quizzical walrus

cutting through ice a piece at a piece

life's not forever it's only on lease

a day past an hour, aquire some sleep

everything ends in black 

Magnus

                          

                        Saw it

                    all in one day

             a vibrant view at noon     

        fifteen revolutions of New York 

     one hundred and thirty three days 

     alone on a deserted space station   

 Sahara dessert craves attentive yelloW

   the stars come out at night to sparkle

    relevantly radical and awe inspiring 

       electrical engineer remarkable

           sts -112, 2002, neemo 11

                  specialist system

                      sts - 119